I prefer wishes to resolutions

The one time I decided to go on and have some new year’s resolution I didn’t end up doing a single thing from that list. I’ve avoided them since then.

I prefer wishes or making rituals to manifest things. Why are they different than resolutions? Because they feel more magical and less corporate. Not everything needs to be translated into productive lingo and fed to the deadline daemons. Some things can be left to fate, our collective mind and the power of love. Or whatever other random trinity you choose to believe in. Doesn’t have to be a trinity either of course. It’s just that, having had a Christian Catholic upbringing, that’s what my mind defaults to: Wonder Woman, Superman and Batman.

Anyhow, I also haven’t posted (or written for what matters) in a while and there are a couple of reasons why.

Speaking of wishes, towards the end of 2024, I really wished Universal Credit would pay the money they owed me. It isn’t much, relatively speaking. It was to cover an expense. My first trip to Southampton on my first day of work. Tickets I had to book last minute because I didn’t have much money at the time so I was waiting for confirmation from work before being able to ask for the expenses to UC. Which they never covered. And the fun thing is they just literally ghosted me. For sixty bloody pounds. Which is not a life-changing amount of money, but it would’ve helped for sure back when, well, my only income was through UC itself.

I wanted to write a whole post about it, but then I thought I didn’t want to spit poison and have my mouth tastes like shit because of it. Better to move on and think about nice things, like

I want to write more

Simple and easy.
More blog posts. More stories. More poetry. But also more code and more love letters. I want to write for fun, for pleasure, for the unquestionable necessity of shooting rage against the broken society we live in. I will join an accountability group, schedule times to write, develop an easier workflow, join or start a writing group or a book club (I know, it’s an old saying, but reading helps with writing). Since after the latest lockdown, I became way less constant. Not sure what’s holding me back, but this year we need to break those chains. Maybe a cleansing ritual is needed.

I want to turn my website into a Vanilla JS playground

Simply that. No framework. Just plain HTML, CSS and JS. And build whatever tool I need or want for it.
It’s for fun and pleasure and also because I’m tired of getting excited for every new framework, meta-framework or even just update that comes out to then be betrayed by something related to them (generally it’s either shitty politics of the creator(s) or bad community). Plus, you can never go wrong with plain JavaScript. JavaScript is queer after all.

I want to make more art

And I do believe that writing is art (or it can be at least, depending on the writing), but I’m thinking something else here, something more performative, something more art-fundy. I’ve been mentioning live coding multiple times already and I will get into it because it’s so much fun. However, what I’m aiming to here is to build something new, where I blend writing, coding and witchcraft. And I believe that the common thread for all of these things, at least when it comes to me, it’s storytelling. Fundamentally, I won’t be leaving my field much, but I will definitely stretch that comfort zone quite a lot. Even though I hate both these terms.

I want to be more magik

I didn’t want to spell the word as the name of the hot-slay-queen member of the X-Men, but now I prefer it that way. I was thinking about the word magick, created by Aleister Crowley and then appropriated by Wicca and Scientology, all things I don’t vibe with to say the least. I prefer it to the classic spelling magic for what it adds to it, but don’t want to pass as a Crowley fan. So magik it is. Besides, who doesn’t feel inspired by a mutant sorceress linked to the demonic realm of Limbo with teleporting powers and the ability to summon the Soulsword?
Anyhow, I have books to read, rituals to learn, practices to practice. I want to expand my knowledge of tarots as well as learning about astrology, sigils and, maybe, numerology. Do you think it’s a lot?

Well…

It looks like it could be. But there are 365 days in our years and we spend most of them working for someone else and then feeling tired about it. Maybe we should just shift our focus and the way we spend our energy. After all, the world is on fire. Lierally. Check your priorities.

Happy New Year xoxo.